THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1. Media employment is at a fifteen-year low. This means, of course, that the people who are out of work don't deserve it -- and those earning the usual seven and eight digits don't deserve it either.
2. The CEOs backing THE GAMES are going to KEEP their super-expensive suites and tickets, come hell or Darfur, which are the same thing.
3. What's SLIME "got to offer" that the BUGMIESTER doesn't? Immortality. But wait, doesn't BUG offer double-immortality -- and a chance to pester people in the afterlife with defective software?
4. How will media "weather a recession"? Very well, thank you. You'd weather a recession very well too if people kept bringing in dump trucks full of cash to deposit on your lap.