Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

News hacks are in a mood again -- this time combining their arbitrary-anniversary mania with sweet memories of their youth to inflict us with odes to THE GREATEST MUSICAL ACHIEVEMENT EVER. Our only consolation is we can imagine what the hosannahs would be like if its only true begetter didn't look like a cross between a middle-aged Liz Taylor impersonator and a cow.

P. S. at 1:22 P.M. What does said cross have in common with Mozart? Why, he's a GENIUS! So LALA calls him on its home page. Thankfully this is only on its Web site but a paper that once employed Robert "Over the" Hilburn would happily put it in PRINT.

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