Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday, it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. Unilever, P&G War Over Which Is Most Ethical

Sure. Both these companies could give all their profits to charity (we wouldn't advise it) and they'd STILL come across as gigantic misanthropic louts so long as they finance JUNK TELEVISION. This is just a fight to see who can be more lunkheadedly PC. How many times must we repeat ourselves repeat ourselves repeat ourselves?

P&G's Pur has one of the most elaborate cause-marketing efforts -- a $20 million program that aims to purify 2 billion liters of water in Africa and save 10,000 lives by 2012.

New Age as the program may be, the ads are classic package goods. The Pur water-purification packets make for an amazing product demo. Take the most turbid swamp water imaginable, mix in a sachet of Pur Purifier of Water and strain it through a cloth. Within a minute or so, it produces a pitcher of perfectly clear, drinkable water.

The trouble is, the people who need it most have no money.

The road to Hollywood is paved with good intentions.

2. The Blue-Light Barneys: That's Kmart's Design

Problem is, I don't think Barneys are located in broken-down strip malls.

3. In an Effort to Get 'Cool,' Microsoft Finally Calls in Crispin
Hopes Hip Shop Can Help Sex Up Windows' Image With $300 Million Push

Sex with the BUGMEISTER?!? BLEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

4. And speaking of how SAMMY GLICKMAN has solved the problem with JACK'S TOXIC SOUP forever and ever:

Distributor Lionsgate will release "Frontier(s)" without any rating assigned to it from the Motion Picture Association of America -- giving the film access to more screens than it would have with an NC-17 rating.

This sounds like idle typing to us -- the Big Double-A Scribble has done a favor for this outfit before -- but never underestimate the willingness of the movie excretion trade to do the wrong thing to make a buck. And given how companies like P&G and Unilever are so big to finance such excretions indirectly that's why we wouldn't trust their good intentions if they wafted down from the heavens on the wings of angels.

Here's betting it bombs anyway.