THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Why not sell it on eBay? Or donate it to the Smithsonian? At least the former might do someone some good. As to the latter, we don't want to guess how many pieces of junk The World's Greatest Attic holds, but what is one more? Certainly it holds a lot of "historical" remnants that mean nothing to anyone. And as The Great Accidental Musical, The Masterpiece the Paper of Re-CORD Made, closes down for the last time ever (until someone makes the mistake of reviving it, and a Paper of Re-CORD ad-blurbist showily admits it's an overrated relic), we can be sure it will never again mean anything to anyone, and all those star-studded scribbles will never occasion more than a puzzled stare -- or total indifference.