Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

What is most annoying about skateboarding? It's not the stupids who ride the skateboards, nor that they can take up the whole sidewalk even in single-file, nor that they're an accident waiting to happen -- your accident. No, the most annoying thing about skateboarding is the NOISE, almost as loud as an unmuffled car; a half-a-dozen of them are like Hell's Angels on training wheels. The only good thing about the noise is that it alerts you a stupid is about to run you over -- but with more luck will break an arm, something that we always wish for members of the clan of DUH.

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