THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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1. The company that spends umpteen megazillions financing professional sports appears not to have spent one thin dime laying out the case for staying independent -- yet another proof advertising is about fiefdoms, and luxury boxes. It isn't about moving product -- and certainly not about protecting jobs.
2. The Sons of SLAVERY BRANDAGE are smiling: the same Chinese who are using their brute force to punish dissidents are punishing AMBUSH MARKETING.
3. And several months into their Beijing vacations, Mickey D's top execs have an excuse for them: a Web site that allow Ronny's fans to "create pictures with their faces on an Olympian's body"! Way to go Mick!
4. Recognizing not only the blithering idiots they are, but that they recently LOOKED like blithering idiots spending more on TV than ever, MEDIA BUYERS are now saying they're going to spend LESS on ADVERTISING. How many of these guys will VOTE for the MESSIAH -- and how many are His MEDIA ADVISERS?
5. And speaking of luxury boxes, isn't there an EASIER way to see the SUPER BORE, Moon 'n' Stars?
6. Finally, Rance and his buddies assume a pensive look as they ponder Census data even though it's still about eighteen months away, and gasp:
The average U.S. head of household is now nearly 50 years old (49.5, to be precise). But here's the bigger story: More than 80% of the growth in the number of households in the next five years will be among those headed by people 55 and older.
Let us guess: MORE money for MTV!!!!!