Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

    Blogroll Me!

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    Thursday, August 07, 2008

    Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

    You're a news hack. Which of these two stories would you run?

    Hollywood Seems to Show Vulnerability to Recession

    OR:

    POLL: MOVIEGOERS FLOCK TO 'R'-RATED COMEDIES WITH GRAPHIC HUMOR!!!!!!!!!! [Home-page link; Hooray-for-Hollywood overemphasis added]

    Well that's EASY: it's the LATTER. The first one appears to be a legitimate poll (to the extent polls are legitimate); the second one's likely a self-selected junk poll from a ticket-selling site aimed at fanboys. The first has news bad for show-biz (and by extension bad for news hacks); the second one is good good good! Stories like these are so easy to choose between it's no wonder that not only do the hacks have a rep lower than used-car dealers, but show-biz news has a rep somewhere between the earth's crust and the gates of Hell.

    A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO CARL AND YAHOO! NEWS!

    P. S. HEY CARL!! MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH SUPERDUPERWONDERFUL NEWS AFTER ALL!!!!!

    (First and third links via ArtsJournal)

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