Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, October 13, 2008

    Posted 10:17 AM by Gene

    Finally, four years after telling us we were on the cusp of a NEW DAWN IN COMMUNICATIONS, the hacks admit it: Harold -- Sloane is finished.

    At last! I got his name right!

    "He took radio, which was akin to the used-car business, and made it a vital part of the entertainment business."

    No no -- LOWSY MAYS took radio from the used-car business into the NEW-CAR business.

    And look where it got CHEAP CHANNEL!

    P. S. We are in dangerous territory here: what with the proverbial second acts in American life and NEWS HACKS it may be premature to write off any of their cretinous favorites as "finished"; but I can just see him trying to get back on the radio. "Herbert -- who"?

    And all the teens will think him an overaged hippie or a dirty old man.

    Oh jeez, his name IS Herbert.

    P. P. S. from a disciple:

    “Radio today is so bad, it's embarrassing.”

    Look at it this way, Horace: you're embarrassing in private.

    HORACE!

    (First link via IWantMedia)

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