THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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Hyundai's timing may be just right: Despite a rotten economy and lowest-ever ratings last year, Oscar's ratings next year may well be resurrected by a man who won't be able to attend the event at all: Heath Ledger. Warner Bros. will re-release "The Dark Knight" -- already the second-highest-grossing film ever -- in January, a move needed to qualify it for both a Best Picture nomination and, insiders say, a likely Best Supporting Actor nomination for Mr. Ledger, who passed away last spring from an accidental prescription drug overdose.
Nominations in either category could drive up Oscar ratings substantially, said Geri Wang, senior VP-primetime sales at ABC. And in any event, the Academy's planned retrospective montage honoring the late Mr. Ledger will also likely be a draw, even if he or the film doesn't get any nominations.
Please, pretty please, pretty pretty please -- let Hyundai get the maximum from its preening!