Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, October 07, 2008

    Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

    IMBECILES: The rules for Mickey D's latest IDIOTIC Monopoly® game take up 11,435 WORDS. Copied into MS Word at the default Times New Roman size 12 font they take up 22 PAGES.

    Yesterday the Mick hit a four-month low. Why can't it suffer from the same shareholder dismissal as G000,000GLE and STEVEDOM?

    Companies like the Mick, and venal incompetents like His Royal Highness the Deposed Sun King Richard, explain why Corporate America deserves a crash.

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