THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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In one particularly eyebrow-raising short, Stymie - Buckwheat's predecessor as the main black member of the gang - thinks his brother has been turned into a monkey by a magician. In another, Lincoln Perry, the notorious actor known as Stepin Fetchit, turns up as Stymie's shuffling, slow-talking dad.
We salute PEOPLE WARNER for refusing to censor this sort of thing (that means George Feltenstein, the extraordinary head of Warner's video archive operations), but we never found these shorts funny as we watched Al Alberts Showcase (those who saw it will know what we mean), and the dialogue was soooooooooooooo sloooooooooooooooow, and you could drive three 150-car freight trains through the pauses, and all the jokes were written by Western Union, and there was that infernal one-tempo mickey-mouse music (which sounded better issued on CD -- slightly). Such Our Gang gags would not be funny in Warner cartoons (we're thinking the monumentally-banned "Coal Black") -- and we know they're not funny in live action, and especially when Our Gang does them...and they're definitely NOT funny with Stepin Fetchit.
And we've bought all four of Sony's new Three Stooges collections thus far, itself a mark of dubious taste.