Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Speaking of annoying, we try not to comment on cheap publicity stunts that are more than eighteen hours old, but HASBRO FILMS' latest line extension is STOOPID. Where does the GENIUS MISTUH SCOTT intend to set this Monopoly® tentpole? In Atlantic City? Certainly if he wants to make it DARK. (Ad-blurbists yell HOORAAAAAAAAY!) Nonetheless AC is dark in more ways than one, and we don't want to sell to the over-65 crowd. But as we know HASBRO has already inflicted Monopoly® with 50,000 line extensions. Does that mean they'll set it in 50,000 cities? Do we bring in the Beatles? (Nah, costs too much.) Or Luke Spielberg's Star Wars gang? Or Spider-Man? We can see idiot SFX for the Get Out of Jail Free card; half of Pawtucket must already be working on visualizing Chance and Community Chest. And what about the GAME TOKENS and the PLASTIC HOUSES? By rights when these IMBECILES at HASBRO and GE BANCORP are through this will be so overwhelmed with marketing as to make for one of the all-time great failures. But we know how fillum cri-TICS work, especially when confronted with masters, and we predict this WILL be a CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED hit, though we can't reason why.