THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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1. Rance's hacks, doing their best to help in an ECONOMY that might inspire RANCE to have to lay off a few at HIS rags, gives us the good news: SUPER BORE ADS WORK!!!!!
Another web-based marketer, E-Trade, opted to return to the game this year after its "Talking Baby" ad in Super Bowl XLII led to a 32% surge in newly opened and funded accounts opened in the week following the game. Online searches for the brand grew 1,000% from the hour before the game to the hour after the game, and more than 5 million people viewed the ad online, according to E-Trade CMO Nick Utton. This year, the marketer is investing more in digital and viral tactics to grow those numbers and multiply the impact of its buy.
"This is not 'spend and pray,'" he said. "This is a well-thought-through, strategic decision."
Somehow after BERNIE we don't associate the financial services biz with PRAYER, unless it's to the DEVIL.
And when the message is right, the numbers speak for themselves: Cars.com grew brand awareness 12% last year with its Bowl buy; Audi saw its web traffic climb 200% in the 30 days following the game; CareerBuilder saw a 68% surge in job applications in the three months following the game. Of course, when they get to the site, it's up to the automaker to cinch the sale. (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!)
Do they? Not a word from the Rancemen, and not a word on whether the brand-awareness falls back to near zero in the months after; but we understand in THIS economy.
Oops! I think I used the wrong link! Here's the press release.
2. INBEV Anheuser-Busch is cutting back on "exclusives". That in itself might contradict what one of its executives of TV money wasting said in that press release. If you're not going to keep your competitor out what's the point of advertising?
3. The new CW is the hacks will dim The One's light. We don't think they will do it so much as, say, Nancy -- and this smells of CW because the hacks can always redeem him in their eyes, whatever his press secretary's faults.
4. MICKEYMOUSE NIXON will have to make FIVE BILLION WEB SERIES before he can think of taking over ESPNCORP.
P. S. from January 2:
A pair of E-Trade Financial Corp. units have been fined $1 million for failing to implement anti-money laundering policies and procedures, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority said Friday.
I think I could count the number of times this story got posted on the fingers of one hand. Thank God for press agen -- NEWS HACKS.