Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, February 04, 2009

    Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

    PAUL DRECK CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM: You know how his favorite word is RECORD!!!!!? WELL, PAUL's been so busy spouting of RECORDS!!!!! he caused the Seniles to STRIP a movie-biz tax break from the BIG PORK -- er, STIMULUS BILL!!!!!

    Paul, don't you know what's good for your country?

    There is just one problem, though:

    "THEY HAD THEIR BEST JANUARY EVER!!!!!" said Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), who led the charge against the tax breaks. [Record-breaking overemphasis added]

    Tom, you should be more careful with numbers.

    (Via the usual ArtsJournal)

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