THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Now we KNOW this isn't true. Isn't THE PROFESSOR always telling us THE PEEPUL will rise to take the place of the hacks? Isn't ROGER forever gassing about the virtues of CITIZEN JERNALISM? Isn't B. S. DEFENDER saying the hacks are a bunch of old fogies who can't tell Web 2.0 from Web 1.0?
Yes even HOWIE HAIRSHIRT must admit the press has suffered from its own "arrogance". But expecting the PEA-BRAINED SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS to fill in more than one pea in the press pod is testimony to their own. We should not take the press's protestations too seriously; how much better informed were we when full-to-bursting staffs swigged Perrier in their luxury news suites? But whatever difference will not be made up with inch-tall Napoleons like SAM LITTLE spewing bile frenetically from his den.