Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

BRILLIANCE IN PACKAGING: The Big G has come up with a fancy abode for some Green Giant peas -- because they steam in the microwave! Good enough; I'm all for such cute gimmicks. But after they've cooked to open their pod you have to grab it by both ends -- and contrary to the illustrations you should not do it without gloves -- which makes it more difficult to open the thing. Then once you've opened it -- provided you haven't spilled half the peas in a sudden burst -- you have to spoon out the contents a little at a time, and only after a while can you work the pouch upside down to empty the rest, and that requires a little dexterity. In the end, the peas emerged as peas. It wasn't expensive -- I got it on sale at my local Dark Shadows (more on that later), but it was...exasperating.

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