Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, March 23, 2009

    Posted 1:08 PM by Gene

    Conservative Catholics are raising a stink because Notre Dame is giving The One an honorary degree. If it withdrew its favor now it would look like a putz. Besides, the big N may have given up some of its virtue when it decided to be a football factory.

    I'd guess someone will give a lecture beforehand as a sort of equal time, but it will be so windily worded as to float into meaninglessness, as intended. The One will answer back by expelling gas too.

    P. S. I changed the word honor to favor in the second sentence. Clearly in granting an honorary degree a kolledge hands out a favor hoping to do itself one.

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