THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1. The folks who celebrate People as the greatest magazine ever get enthusiastic over a feature in its sister rag's Web site -- you know, InStyle, the rag that's even dorkier than People -- that lets women try on celebs' hair styles. The TWXSTERS should extend this to men; I wonder how I'd look with Moe Howard's wig.
2. These folks get equally excited that The Big G has rolled out retro cereal boxes at Target -- without the retro prices, no doubt. I suspect a FIVE-LETTER WORD is missing from the boxes too.