THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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TWENTY-FIVE MILLION AMERICANS LISTENED TO RUSH LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!!!
Your head IS made of wood, isn't it, Charlie.
Yes but when Mark Steyn gets near me I do a good imitation of the hole in his head.
Who got it from a Web site called Small Dead Animals, who got it from SEN. FOGHORN MATTHEWS'S COMEDY SHOW?!?!?, who got it from HOWIE HAIRSHIRT, who got it from that JABBERING WHATISIT THE PUBLISHER OF TALKERS, who got it from -- this is starting to resemble Yente the Matchmaker!
And now we know where that jackass Farhi got his inspiration: from grumbling fellow typists at The Daily Kaplan! TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A -- CORRECT.
OR:
"It's very hard to come up with an exact answer. It really reveals the embarrassing state of radio ratings."
Which enabled you to say with absolute certainty to Howie: TWENTY-FIVE MILLION AMERICANS LISTENED TO RUSH LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!!!
SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!
(Apologies to Edgar and Charlie -- we're not trying to identify them with any political persuasion.)