Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, March 02, 2009

    Posted 10:17 AM by Gene

    We hate to keep bringing up The New Meryl Streep but The Paper of Re-CORD once assured us this ac-TOR was great because she "vanished into her roles." Well, here's Ben reviewing the unanimously panned new Guys and Dolls theme park in Branson East:

    As Sky the heartbreaker, Mr. Bierko (who starred in the 2000 revival of “The Music Man”) gives the smoothest performance, but it’s also bland. Like the others he sometimes seems to disappear while you’re watching him.

    Next year -- an Os-CAR®! Or at least the Branson East Best Carnival Barker Award.

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