THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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When President Obama and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. meet for their standing Friday lunch engagement, Mr. Obama always picks the cuisine — a subtle break from previous administrations in which the president and the vice president typically ordered off a menu, and a reminder, if any was needed, about who is in charge.
Though we reluctantly credit Contentions for the link, remember stories like this. Keep them in mind with laser-guided precision when considering the source. For here is one of the purest, most crystal-clear displays of front-page BS in The Paper of Re-CORD since Walter Duranty, or at least Herbert L. Matthews (caveat: scalp-scratchin' Jonny Alter). Somebody's trying to make Vice-President Throttlebottom feel good, but you have to read between the lines (and that bald first graf spares some of the effort) to get at what one must suspect is the truth -- that Whosit's not only on an invisibly short leash, he has ten layers of duct tape on his mouth. And between the lines he ends up dangerously close to the figure of fun he is. But news hacks elected his boss president because they knew he was God -- and Abe Lincoln.
Poor Jay Carney. Does he sometimes wish he were a TWXSTER again?