Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Have you ever known a sociopath? Lenny Dykstra is a classic. Why would anyone do business with him? He is the slob of slobs. I can never forget the obscene things he did to chewing tobacco. He and the GREAT SELIG REVOLT OF '94 and Whitey Ashburn's death pretty much put well paid to baseball; THE GREATEST SEASON EVER!!!!! was the last exorbitant spadeful. Somehow he made money with car washes only to become the sort of scamster you'd expect of one who always says "DOOOOOOD": constantly begging for money, constantly shafting people, constantly being sued. How apt he "worked" for Jim "BOOM! BOOM!" Cramer, both apparently eager to learn at the feet of a master. With luck one boast he will share with that other Phitin' Phil Pete Rose someday: jail.

Or to put it another way, DOOOOOOD is SELIGISM's perfect ambassador.

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