Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Tuesday, May 12, 2009

    Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

    I bought a used album from Wherehouse.com. Some dolt affixed mailing labels to both discs of the set, the kind you lick on envelopes, and after mightily removing them they left a gooey mark. Wherehouse.com has no toll-free number, just online customer "service". Its parent is at eighty-one-point-nine cents a share and claims to have a code of ethics, which online-only customer service would seem to negate.

    P. S. on 6/21/2009 at 5:28 p. m. I got a refund, so please disregard this thundering.

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