THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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1. CEOs are antsy to get themselves back in Hollywood just as Lord Aubrey wants to stay in the NBA, and it seems they'll do anything to finance their schmoozing -- in this case corporate advertising, the single biggest waste of money since the first ad campaign. But remember, advertising isn't about selling.
Coming on the heels of most of these same companies financing junk TV by insisting they're just as angry as their customers, they've given us another reason to be angrier.
2. Cheerios First in FDA Firing Line. Who's Next?
Whoever sells another cereal as a drug is next. If anything a lot of MadAve's charlatans may feel the Big G didn't go far enough -- it should have sold Cheerios as guaranteeing an after life, or at least letting you live to be 200. Go on MadAve, make more preposterous claims! Make us ANGRIER!