Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, May 09, 2009

    Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

    I'm supposed to be SHOCKED, SLIME? (SHOCKED! is one of the language's most overused words -- especially in combination with the instant cliché from Casablanca.) Is there any would-be star who's normal? Is anyone normal? The biz you've run into the ground expunged that word decades ago.

    That is why such stories go beyond boring -- to irritating, and even excruciating.

    (Via The Daily Beast, whose founder's little darling KEN FELATTA made SUMNER a permanent scourge -- and that Methusaleh specializes in the fake outrage too -- and from its description this may be another news practical joke)

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