Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

In unimportant matters, two men who have served a combined, what? 70 years in Congress and intend to serve at least 200 years more rammed their carbon tax through the House, and already the peanut gallery has broken out in applause (we might save some of the clapping, John) -- and it is a measure of how thoroughly broken the news system is we doubt there is a single hack who can explain this bill properly. To be sure 1,200 pages defies comprehension, but someone must be wonk enough to digest it, and explain it. One day we'll wake up with a big fat monster in our bed (not this, perhaps, but something), and it will be there because the hacks, so obsessed with saving themselves and their infernal superiority, and so intent on talking down to their retarded audience, didn't have the guts to remove it from the bed when it was just a monster egg.

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