Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, June 02, 2009

    Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

    Today a few hard-core con-SER-va-tives mourn the loss of a free high-school paper that went by the name of the Bulletin. One look at its cute font and you knew it wasn't serious. Several years ago it celebrated the con-SER-va-tives' holiday 9-11 by plastering a picture of the deed on its front page. I never paid the rag mind again. It served a faint useful purpose by mocking the StinkyInky when it needed to be mocked -- when it careened into bankruptcy -- but real high-school papers at least can teach kids how to write, unlike the "Bulletin", which seemed to exist, like Metro, to give work to janitors.

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