THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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TRANSLATION: The top executives of EVERY BIGMEDIA organization are on the phone all day and all night with them, hoping to extend the profits. FURTHER TRANSLATION: This will end up being a ten- or twenty- or fifty-venue insanity raiser. Really, Jeff BEW-kes, do you intend to make this non-story permanent?
It's times like these we wish GanNETt had laid off 10,000. IT MAY YET. After last Friday we will definitely call its flagship McPAPER. Has CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK ever laid off people? Why can't it?
P. S. Is that ASSPress source the same as the LALA source? The HACKS are so fully intent on justifying their overcoverage they'll fight as if on D-Day over ever tinier scoops.