THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Now the organs of truth are using the same SUMNER-distributed pictures of St. HHHHHWWWWWALTER wiping away a tear after our favorite assassination. We know PILLHEAD uses the phrase "state media" but even a scoundrel and the proverbial stopped clock can be right once. Clearly the hacks intend to take St. HHHHHWWWWWALTER's example to heart and stick it in their readers' and viewers' faces, the nothings thinking they have nothing to lose. For the umpteenth time, we would advise against it, for as THE CLATCH AT 44 CENTS demonstrates, WE CAN STICK IT RIGHT BACK.