THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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That this story appeared in Zeitgeist.com of all places shows the wheels may finally be turning, and even the hacks may know it. The award-winning buffoon MARK would have run a credulous cover ad. (You know, "HILARIOUS BORAT: MOVIE FOR AGES!!!!!" Or something.) Such salesmanship may not work anymore especially with Zeitgeist about to halve its circulation. We recall when these clowns ran the cover ad for Animal House (is that disco font dated or what?), and about that time TNR ran its own cover story from a Zeitgeist writer or editor damning the fad, and soon enough he disappeared from Zeitgeist's masthead. We don't know if they were connected, but the last thirty years say they probably were. Certainly THE DAILY KAPLAN'S PROPOSED S&L OF FAVORS would.
By the way -- whatever happened to John Belushi? Is he making commercials in Canada or somewhere?
P. S. Probably ITC Bauhaus Heavy, from 1975.
P. P. S. Oh, and about The Chris Farley Foundation....
(Cover restored to post 8/27/2011)