Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, July 19, 2009

    Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

    TRANSLATION: Gee whiz aw shucks, I'd love to call Ted the greatest, most noble politician who ever lived, but dammit if NAZI...conservatives keep harping on this one little thing -- I mean, the guy had an accident; aren't we all entitled to mistakes in our lives? But geez, he'll live on and on and on for reforming health care, and that's what counts.

    Oh yes, and I probably wouldn't recognize my predecessors in my grand and noble office -- who came before me, Clark something or other? But they were all good men, noble men, unless they were conservatives, which fortunately isn't likely.

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