Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

For some unknown reason The Daily Kaplan, whose parent KAPLAN, INC. already employs a million pundits, is having a pundit contest. I can see it now -- hundreds of thousands of entries swamping the four young interns who wouldn't know good writing from a hole in the ground (from whence most of the finalists' will come), the winner decided by overpaid scribblers in pro bono mode going eenie-meenie-minie-moe and thinking it's a decision. In short, the blind leading the blind choosing another blind man. With luck the winner will last six months. I'd submit something but I'm used to sending e-mails to myself, so I'll just type for free as usual, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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