THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Speaking of criminals, part of us regrets we not leading a busier life, but Benjamin Doctor (!) has taken it to extremes -- 134 arrests in 30 years. Really the guy looks as if he wants to wave at the camera! Only in Noo Yawk. We especially like the story of Terhan Bey, who in two separate incidents in three weeks at two chain drug stores pilfered "$104.52 worth of soap, body spray, deodorant and a can of almonds" plus "three cases of energy drinks" -- hey guy, who needs energy drinks with your rap sheet? Or do they go well with almonds? And don't they give you soap in jail? Face it, without career criminals a lot of Noo Yawkers would be out of work. And since Honorary Mayor Mike's name pops up here we wonder -- Mike, what is the economic benefit of petty crime? Maybe that's why they can't keep 'em locked up.
We wish we were kidding. We're not.