Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, November 22, 2009

    Posted 11:41 PM by Gene

    SUPERADAM!!!!!'s interns come up with a listicle of newly-opening ahthouse nominees for the Os-CAR®, and it's irritating because the hacks are ready to rave every last one of them, and the interns in their two-left-footed way say these movees are for no one but movee cri-TICS and the hard-core urban audiences, as when they posit the target crowd for one as "Mad Men fanatics, fashionistas, gay men", for another "Anyone who loved Moulin Rouge and Chicago, plus the sophisticated straight guy who appreciates eye candy," and for a third "People who like some message with their popcorn; Mandela admirers; the ten or so rugby fans in America." Who will care for any of these masterworks next year? And why must the big-name Web sites crawl with interns?

    And why can't we have a movie with a real Sophia Loren instead of one of WOODSTER THE PERV's girlfriends?

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