THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Kraft Singles is pulling an April Fool's Day joke in December, armed with the insight that the product's dairy-based recipe gives it a boost with Hispanic consumers.
Kraft timed today's launch of a 39-week partnership with Univision to the Dia de los Santos Inocentes, the Hispanic April Fool's Day that falls on Dec. 28 and features a long tradition of pranks and jokes in Latin America and Spain. In that spirit, Singles is coordinating a fake celebrity news story on Univision.com that diverts consumers to Kraft's "Don't Be Fooled" website....
The fake story breaks the news that the current Miss Universe, Venezuela's Stefania Fernandez, is giving up her title in favor of the first runner-up, Ada Aimee de la Cruz from the Dominican Republic. Supposedly Ms. Fernandez's boyfriend is jealous of pageant co-owner Donald Trump, and the whole contest might have been rigged by Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. The story even quotes Osmel Sousa, head of the Miss Venezuela Organization, saying it's OK if Venezuela, renowned for turning out beauty queens, loses a crown: "We already have like 500."
Consumers who want to play along with the gag can post the fake news on their own Facebook page, and try to trick their friends into clicking on the link.
We could say Velveeta and Cheez Whiz are April Fool's jokes, but will leave it to you to decide -- and we don't need Facebook.