THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Police in a small Ohio town are looking for two young girls -- believed to be 12 and 14 years old -- who robbed the 1st National Bank and eluded a police helicopter and dogs, The Cincinnati Enquirer reports.
Police say the pair entered the bank in Symmes Township around 3:20 p.m. on Tuesday and handed the teller a note demanding money. The girls implied they would harm bank employees, but did not appear to have weapons, they say.
One is described as heavyset, around 5 feet 4 inches, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans. The second is thin, around 5 feet tall and wearing a baseball cap.
It was not known whether either was wearing braces.
If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times -- news hacks should NEVER attempt humor, except the unintentional kind.