Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Monday, February 01, 2010

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

I think I know why the news hacks' show-biz hype grates on me: it's because they've cured cancer. I don't know when they first cured it; probably when Joseph P-Ulitzer uttered his first bromide. The impetus for cancer curing goes back further, of course, to Horace Greeley's one-man drive for the Emancipation Proclamation, or even earlier perhaps to the abolitionist papers, but they were truly in the right, and their views were no doubt the exception, the press always tilting toward reaction. Cancer curing advanced in earnest in 1971 with the Pentagon Papers, and reached a fever pitch when Woodstein forced Tricky Dick's resignation and other P-Ulitzer winners ended an UNJUST WAR, and none of the mountainous fiascoes or shame or the cold clear stare of history since have vanquished that heroism. So news hacks can cure cancer while causing mental obesity with their verbal junk food.

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