Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, February 07, 2010

    Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

    One last question before THE SECOND COMING: When do the cretins in McLEAN start running a permanent annual series about its IMPACT ON THE ECONOMY? About how many pizzas and beers it moves? How many HDTVs fly off the shelves? How many of the sponsors' stocks it sends to the stratosphere? Count on USAOKAY!!!!! to inquire as it wouldn't for anything else, and unearth suitably inflated numbers -- all the better to rend our sanity again with the ADMETER!!!!!

    And Molly could help!

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