Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, February 07, 2010

    Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

    Today I took a glum walk down a mostly deserted South Street; the snow and the CURE took care of the people. At my gloomiest out of nowhere marched a contingent of twenty musicians out of the Mummers parade playing an unreasonable facsimile of Dixieland and my spirit perked up and I wanted to yell "Happy New Year!" Then I sagged as they tootled away. Returning for home I found the musicians walking the other way and playing even more raucously than before. There is a case for such musical effusions -- not the solo street ones, which come from beggars with another name, but these sudden demonstrations of happiness, toward whom only the surliest could object.

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