Posted 6:47 PM by Gene

As part of my continuing obsession with downloading (over 750 albums in two months! Although half are replacements for improving my hard drive -- thank you BUGMEISTERS for SyncToy and why didn't I use it before?) I've come across that peculiar pestilence the stag record. I submit stag records helped foment the sexual revolution because at heart they're so repressed and had the gall to pretend otherwise. Stag records had a Lillian Russell in Kay Martin -- a sexy dame with a sexless voice (think bored telephone operators) who sang "adult" versions of kiddie tunes. Listen to more than a few minutes of the female stag stars and the first word in your mind is "lush". The male "comedians" are worse. Were their jokes funny then? Someone in Vegas put on a whole musical show of these jokes for ages -- Laugh-In without sex appeal or any appeal. Variety raved it, meaning it could be bribed even then. And someone had to record it. (The rave's quoted on the back album cover.) Here's a typical circa-1970 laff riot:

MINISTER: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this afternoon to join in holy matrimony (raucous middle-aged female audience cackling) these two... (more raucous middle-aged female audience cackling) these two, um...eh, hahahaha...excuse me, my children, I-I'm afraid there's a little problem here: I-I-I can't tell which of you is the man and which of you is the woman! I-I don't know -- well I'll tell you what: we'll settle this biologically. Which of you two has the menstrual cycle?

(After a pause and some more middle-aged female audience cackling)

GROOM: Well it must be her 'cause I got a Honda.

If Hefnerizing America did too much bad it did a lonesome good by obsoleting the stag record.