Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Posted 2:04 PM by Gene

On this beautiful spring day I happened into our neighborhood Barnes & Noble and one of the first things I saw was the cover of Zeitgeist saying why The Lord God Steve's Invention is WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!, and the cover of some other CW dispensery saying why That Other Lord God is WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!, and I thought, what fool would PAY for these? What fool would pay ANYTHING for a magazine? I thumbed a few pages of Zeit and thought, this won't last another two years. It looks warmed over. The design gives the contents away. Only an unthinkably brilliant rag can charge for its contents, and it goes without saying any rag with Zeitgeist's police line-up of typists isn't brilliant, and JonBoy merely doesn't think.

I put the Zeit back on the rack upside-down. Bad idea; it might have encouraged a sale.

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