Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, April 01, 2010

    Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

    Several times we've derided the Great MJ as a "cipher". Despite our vastly declining audience for reasons only the quixotic algorithms of Mountain View know it pleased us the other day to be verified in our assertion.

    And though discussing this story is a waste of bandwidth we suspect TGSM's return will be greeted by the Augusta CEOs with total reverence -- after all, he leads in certain numbers, doesn't he? -- and we can imagine how many of the CEOs have cheated too. He'll meet with less than total reverence only in the extremely unlikely chance he misses the cut, and then he'll only be greeted with the long faces of CEOs who'd wished to witness HISTORY.

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