Posted 4:19 PM by Gene

A student at RENDELL UNIVERSITY or somewhere left behind a whole bunch of paperback drama texts in our "reading room", which I promptly took, and one of them is a Penguin edition of John Gay's The Beggar's Opera, which contains an introduction suggesting George Frideric Handel invented MMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM; at the very least he'd have forced Samuel Goldfish back to tanning gloves. It seems he brought Italian operas to London, and they were

remarkable for the sumptuousness of the costumes and the sophistication of the stage machinery. The libretto of Handel's very popular opera Rinaldo (1711), for example, requires the heroine to be carried through the air in Act I by a "Chariot drawn by two huge Dragons, out of whose Mouths issue Fire and Smoke", while Act II calls for waterfalls as well as "Thunder, Lightning and amazing Noises." With so much spectacle to engage its attention, the audience at an opera was unlikely to concern itself greatly with the details of the plot, which was in nearly every case if not manifestly absurd at least considerably remote from the concerns of the everyday.

TRANSLATION: TENTPOLES! (Although I doubt anyone will sing along with Iron Man 2 anytime soon -- even if it stars an AC-TOR.)

When they weren't obsessing over the scenery the audiences obsessed over the stars. British Italian opera needed real Italian singers, and for a time three dominated it: two prima-donnas and a castrato. We defer to the introduction again:

The three great Italian singers were first brought to together on the London stage in May 1726 for Handel's Allessandro, an opera carefully constructed so that neither Cuzzoni nor Faustina could claim to have the better role. The story concerns two women, Rossana (Faustino) and Lisana (Cuzzoni), both in love with Alexander the Great (Senesino); he wavers indecisively between them for virtually the whole length of the opera, only choosing Rossana at the last possible moment before the final curtain. [CHICKEN!] This even-handedness did not prevent the rivalry between Cuzzoni and Faustina form becoming notorious, however, and the London opera public divided into opposing claques so enthusiastically that by the spring of 1727 the young Lord Hervey complained that nobody talked about anything else. [!] Matters came to a violent if farcical head at a performance of Bononcini's Astyanax in June 1727 [the tentpoles had weird names then too] in which Cuzzoni and Faustina appeared. Showing scant respect for the Princess of Wales, who was present, the rival partisans in the audience became restive and then violent; as a contemporary newspaper reported, "the Contention at first was carried on by only Hissing on one Side, and Clapping on the other; but proceeded at length to Catcalls, and other great Indecencies." Spurred on no doubt by the excitement, Cuzzoni and Faustina so far forgot professional decorum as to come to blows on the stage, and the performance was abandoned in confusion.

TRANSLATION: Handel invented the Web long before Al Gore did.

The introduction also contains an account of London's unspeakable criminal aura of the day, vastly fueled by gin and stupid legislaTORS, which makes Noo Yawk in the seventies look like paradise.

P. S.

This furore seized the public imagination – the pamphleteer John Arbuthnot published "The DEVIL to pay at St. JAMES's: oR [Arbuthnot SIC or WIKI SIC?] A full and true ACCOUNT of a most horrid and bloody BATTLE between Madam FAUSTINA and Madam CUZZONI", in which he lambasted the two ladies: "TWO of a Trade seldom or ever agree … But who would have thought the Infection should reach the Hay-market and inspire Two Singing Ladies to pull each other's Coiffs, to the no small Disquiet of the Directors, who (God help them) have enough to do to keep Peace and Quietness between them. … I shall not determine who is the Aggressor, but take the surer Side, and wisely pronounce them both in Fault; for it is certainly an apparent Shame that two such well bred Ladies should call Bitch and Whore, should scold and fight like any Billingsgates." Recent research has shown, however, that there was a great deal of journalistic exaggeration in such accounts: it was the ladies' supporters who were behaving badly, not the singers themselves. Nonetheless, the entire opera season at that theatre was brought to a close by this scandal, though Handel kept both singers in his employ until the demise of his company in June 1728.

TRANSLATION: FREE REPUBLIC WAS THERE!!!!! And HUFF 'n' PUFF!!!!! And WOLFFMAN!!!!! AND HENRY HONEST!!!!! And SLIME!!!!! And SUMNER TOO!!!!!