Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

Today on my South Street sojourn on a hot humid day, part of me missed the duck boats, and part of me didn't. I suspect EDDIE!!!! misses them -- our de facto mayor's probably been on the phone 500 times the last week imploring the owners and their "overseers" to get the dinghies back on the water. "WE NEED THE TOURISTS! TOURISTS ARE THE CITY'S LIFE BLOOD! TOURISTS PAY FOR ALL THE WAITERS AND JANITORS AND BELLHOPS WE NEED FOR THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY ECONOMY!!!!!" Any city whose sole revenue streams are tourism and LAW FIRMS doesn't deserve it.

AT CHEAP CHANNEL JR.'s auditorium I saw HEINEKEN® doling out "Respect." Volunteers or somebody were telling the big and mostly black crowd to file in one line for men and one for women. I didn't see the guys in the black suits with the black shirts and the black ties but it sure smelled of Him. Maybe it wasn't but I can see some MadAve type urging it, and telling the client to keep it coincidentally quiet -- and the client being coincidentally European would happily oblige. Also no mention on the marquee. (P. S. I see the company runs a former brewery in Amsterdam as a tourist trap. How apt -- how RENDELLIAN!)

At the Wawa and spying BARRON'S!!!!! I saw the Holy Sign of Mountain View -- which could mean only one thing:

GOOGLE COULD GO UP 10,000 PERCENT IN A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

So I grabbed it and was disappointed it said:

GOOGLE COULD GO UP 35 PERCENT! [Or something. Yes, they did use an exclamation point!]

BP a SCREAMING BUY -- CHEAP CHANNEL JR. a SCREAMING BUY -- SLIME! Put Your WHOLE EMPIRE BEHIND A WALL!

But remember -- KAPLAN, INC.!