THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Is OL' WHISKEY SLOSH still alive?
P. S. at 6:00 p. m. We are aware that BOURBON BREATH has been alcohol-free since 1987, but we would not be surprised to learn that he consumed enough liquor to be drunk every day of his adult life. And what is more, an alcoholic is always "recovering". For all the wonderful things he has done we will continue to call him names like ROTGUT REEK, OL' WHISKEY SLOSH, and BOURBON BREATH.