Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, September 17, 2010

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

I don't know who Brian is, but I think he's got a BRILLIANT idea in getting LEGENDARY WELCH to run UMASS. I can see it now: applying SIX SIGMA to teaching! Weeding out the bottom ten percent of students -- and faculty! Charging so much for tuition He can start a BANK for student loans! Outsourcing the cafeterias to India! Who knows -- maybe He could do an IPO! This has so much to recommend to I don't know where to begin!

Next time, Brian, just write a résumé.

...a risible puff piece incorporating wildly implausible yet flattering suggestions involving a powerful figure in exchange for face/telephone time.

The less stupid NEWS HACKS think their readers the more money they might make.

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