THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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The computers were supposed to help Detroit Public Schools students compete in a high-tech world. That's until burglars broke into schools, hauled away laptops worth $158,800 and sold them as far away as the Middle East.
On Tuesday, 10 men, including a Michigan State University football player and another MSU student, were charged with participating in a crime ring that sold 104 stolen computers in seven other states, Canada and the United Arab Emirates. Internal tracking devices led officials to stolen DPS computers.
You gotta beeeee a foot-balllll HEEEEEEEEEE-ROOOOOOOOO....
Second-year player figures to earn his share of playing time at tight end!!!!! [Well, it depends on where he'll be playing.]
2009 SEASON (FRESHMAN): Named to the Big Ten All-Freshman Team by the Sporting News and Rivals.com!!!!!
HIGH SCHOOL AND PERSONAL DATA: Tom Lemming's Prep Football Report, SuperPrep and PrepStar All-American!!!!! [Heroic overemphasis added]
Who knew sports hacks are ignoramuses?
...majoring in finance.
THAT we believe.