THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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And things are going well already. I’m happy to report that we’re already #1 in TBS’s key demographic --- people who can’t afford HBO.
I’m going to be honest: It’s not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that’s why I left NBC.
This is THE MAN WHO WILL SAVE LATE-NIGHT TELEVISION?
P. S. at 1:12 p. m.
It was a GREAT opening for Conan O'Brien on TBS last night!!! The comedian's eponymous talk show drew BIG 4.2 million viewers and MASSIVE 3.3 million adults 18-49 and 2.5 million in 18-34!!!!!!!!!! [Massive overemphasis added]
4.2 million equals 1.35 PERCENT of the CURRENT U. S. POPULATION.
AN ENORMOUS NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO NELLIE!