THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Many stores and malls were reporting that there were more customers, and longer lines, than last year.
...and may we guess The Paper of Re-CORD has the means of determining whether this is so? Well, it must be so -- doesn't it run "All the News That's Fit to E-Mail"? It's bad enough that at times like these we feel we're the sole inhabitant of another planet, but it's worse to have to feel compelled to do something, whether or not it's worth doing. We'd guess the hacks helped create Black Friday as much as the retailers as a form of mutual backscratching, and for this they deserve a special place in perdition.
P. S. Thankfully this sort of story about how all those promotions don't work seems to be slightly more common too. (Via Seeking Alpha)
P. P. S. Ditto here for excitement -- and Lord knows where else.