Posted 12:22 PM by Gene

Let's see -- where do we start with ASININE:

MORT ZUCK runs a story on a woman who's set an alleged record in plastic surgeries. The only comment thus far starts, "I dunno how this made 'news'." We dunno either.

DVFORBESLISTBLOG, not content to run a story on one of those all-time zillionaire villains who must own every sports team in sight and flatters the BONOVIANS by not talking to the press, runs this typing about bringing the Dodgers back to Brooklyn because Brooklyn's "HIP". I've got a better idea: Let's bring the Faberge eggs back to the Forbeses!

THE TWXSTERS say in so many words they'll let THE DONALD determine how much He's worth. You'd think news hacks would want to make a fuss over this, given how THEY appoint our president, but His publicity value TRUMPS making a fuss any day.

THE WAX tries to justify the wall-to-wall junk her CLIENTS intend to justify THE WEDDING with by running "GUESSTIMATES" of how many people watched certain big TV events, which reminds us of that old saw about lies, damned lies and TV EXECS.

THE GAHHHHHHHHHHDIAN runs another of those intolerable think pieces AHTSJournal MUST link to, saying how wonderful it is that our language is accreting with slang no one will remember in fifteen years. Hey Johnny, you think we'll still be using "sheening" then? Shakespeare's full of obsolete words. Some words sound good for a short time, but without an occasional cleaning and polishing they lose all meaning. And most people aren't Shakespeares. Writers can't avoid what the OED called "nonce" words -- we use too many ourselves -- but it's best to stick with the tried-and-true so that you won't require a slang dictionary in fifty years.